


Victorious Cupid

by thymelord



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dubious Consent, Face-Fucking, First Time, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, SBURB (Homestuck), Sexuality Crisis, noncon to dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26256871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thymelord/pseuds/thymelord
Summary: It’s Jake’s first time meeting Dirk in the flesh, and he’s so excited!Dirk is also excited, but for a different reason entirely.
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider
Comments: 1
Kudos: 48





	Victorious Cupid

**Author's Note:**

> CW: Underage (16 y/o), noncon/dubcon.

He’d fallen for Jake English a couple of weeks after his first message.

The first day, Dirk had found him cringey. The second day, rather charming. The third day – and Dirk was _lost._

It had only snowballed from there.

It’s years later now, but Dirk’s feelings have by no means diminished; if anything, they’ve increased year by year, month by month, hour by fucking _hour._ Dirk’s a master at hiding his emotions, but when he feels, he feels _intensely –_ it’s the reason he felt the need to keep up his indifferent façade in the first place.

Part of him thinks that his obsession is due to the fact that Jake is the first – and only – male that Dirk has ever talked to. But he doesn’t think that’s it; he knows that Jane is infatuated with him, no matter how much she may try to deny it, and Roxy thinks he’s hot – but then again, Roxy thinks everyone is hot.

This isn’t a condemnation, by any means – Dirk can completely see where Roxy is coming from.

Unfortunately, Dirk knows that Jake is straight – weirdly, _aggressively_ straight in the way only denizens from the early twenty-first century and previously displayed. Dirk has always secretly thought that Jake’s proliferation of blue beauties on his walls were an overcompensation; that to highlight his _mangrit_ in such a way must stem from insecurity.

Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t.

Dirk does not care.

He knows he should – but he _doesn’t._ Hey, can you blame him? He never grew up with the socialisation needed to turn a human into a proper, ethical member of society. He was, almost literally, thrown to the wolves. Is it any wonder his moral compass is... skewed?

(He knows that isn’t an excuse.)

(But again – he doesn’t fucking _care.)_

Five minutes until Jake enters the game, now.

He’s not going to know what hit him.

~

Jake’s excited, but more than that, he’s _nervous._

He’s lived on an island in the Pacific Ocean all his life, inhabited by no one but himself, monsters and game. He’d spoken with people over the internet before, of course, but that was a far cry from actually meeting someone in the flesh – and this would be the first time.

He’s sixteen years old, and this is the first time he’s meeting another human being. _You’re pathetic,_ a dark voice in the recesses of his mind hisses, and Jake winces, wiping his clammy hands against his shorts, which are not as absorbent as he’d have liked.

He seems so confident over the Internet, but actually _meeting_ someone – not having the buffer of time between each reply, with your conversant scrutinising every flicker of your expression, every twitch of your body language – _God,_ it’s the most daunting thing Jake’s ever had to experience, and once he encountered a twenty-foot spider roaming the forests of his home.

He’s putting off pressing the button, even though he knows it’s ridiculous. _Come on, this is Dirk – you_ know _Dirk, he’s been talking with you on a nigh-daily basis for years, he’s sent you his robots, he’s your_ friend.

Jake clicks the button.

At once, he feels as though he’s falling – like when you’re about to fall asleep, and a sudden jolt makes you wake up, except he can’t wake up, because this is _real –_

And then he’s in front of Dirk, collapsed on his hands and knees, staring up at him with his glasses askew.

His first instinct is to say, “Dirk Strider, I presume?” in a jaunty voice that he instantly regrets. _God, English, you’re such a fucking dork, now he’s going to realise how fucking stupid you really are and he’s not going to want anything to do with you anymore –_

Dirk extends his hand. “You presume correctly, Master English.”

Jake takes his hand, allowing himself to be heaved to his feet. Dirk is absolutely expressionless, like Galatea before Pygmalion brought her to life, and his shades only augment the enigmatic aura he has going on. “S-Sorry – my hands are rather sweaty – um - ” _God,_ he sounds so stupid – had the teleportation given him brain damage as well as grazed knees?

Dirk chuckles, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards. “Don’t sweat it, English.”

Jake stares at him for a moment, then laughs. “Golly, it’s just so – surreal, meeting you in the flesh... I mean, actually, you’re the first fellow I’ve met... in real life, so to speak...”

Dirk’s smile turns warm. “Don’t worry about that, you silly thing. You’re the first person I’ve met too. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it – Roxy and I have always felt recalcitrant about it, scared to influence your timeline for the worse in some way – but we’re from the future, a couple of centuries after your time, and we’re the only humans left. And I’ve never met her, because she’s somewhere near New York and I was on a small little island that was Texas.” Dirk chuckles again. “That’s probably why Roxy was so infatuated with me – she’d got it into her head that since we were the last two people on Earth and we had compatible genitals, it was our duty to repopulate. Never mind the incestuous implications that has, and never mind that the minimum viable population is around two hundred. She always has been a romantic, always one to believe in a greater destiny.”

 _Damn, he rambles just as much in real life as he does on Pesterchum,_ Jake thinks, but rather than finding it annoying, he finds it strangely endearing. “Either that, or you really are that dashing!” The remark was supposed to be jokey, but instead it sounds sincere – because Jake is as straight as they come, but he’s not blind. Dirk is absolutely fucking gorgeous, and even though his shades add to his aura of mystique, Jake wants to see what’s behind them - he wants to see the way his eyes compliment his high cheekbones, he wants to see those marmalade irises bore into his.

“You flatter me, English.” Dirk takes a step forward, and then suddenly he’s launching himself at Jake, pinning him to the floor.

“Fisticuffs?” laughs Jake. “I should have been anticipating this!” He grapples with Dirk, and fuck, he’s _good –_ Brobot had beaten his ass may times, but Jake had managed to rationalise that away as Brobot had been programmed to fight – but Dirk _also_ seems programmed to fight. They roll, and they tussle, and eventually Dirk has Jake well and truly pinned. “Good fight,” Jake gasps out. “I abscond... I _suppose.”_ He gives Dirk a cheeky smile that quickly slides off when he feels something hard pressing against his thigh. “Uhm... Dirk...?”

“You’re even more handsome in real life, you know that?” breathes Dirk. “It’s a fucking tragedy that you’ve been isolated on that island your whole life – bet you’d have people over you like ants on a fuckin’ picnic –“

Jake gives a nervous laugh. “Hey, c’mon, this isn’t funny –“

“Good. It’s not supposed to be.” Somehow during the fight, Dirk had managed to get a hold of his pistol, and now he’s spinning it in his palm idly, as though it were a pen and not a _deadly fucking weapon._ Dirk then sends it skittering across the dark, strange ground of LOMAX, but Jake’s relief is short-lived, because then Dirk’s undoing the belt on Jake’s shorts.

“D-Dirk -!” Jake thrashes, trying to wrench himself away from his grip. “What are you _doing –_ s-stop -!”

“Don’t worry,” coos Dirk, hand wrapping around Jake’s cock. He’s big even when soft; Dirk can’t wait to see what it looks like when he’s hard. Jake whimpers, squirming."I'll make you feel good."

“N-No – I’m not – I’m not gay, Dirk -!”

Dirk laughs lowly. “How would you know? I’m the first person you’ve ever met.”

“That’s not – that’s not how it works, and you _know_ that –“ He breaks off with a gasp as Dirk tilts his hips upwards, pushing his knees to his chest and spreading his thighs. “Dirk, _please –_ you don’t want to do this, old chum, c’mon – you don’t want to make me hate you –“

“Shhh,” says Dirk, taking a bottle of lube – orange creamsicle flavoured, meticulously alchemitised – from his captchalogue. He slicks up two fingers, pushing one slowly past the tight ring of muscle at Jake’s entrance. Jake’s face screws up in discomfort, but then Dirk curls his finger, pressing against something inside him, and a small little jolt of – _something –_ goes up his spine.

“Wh-What was that?”

“That’s how I’m gonna make you feel good,” says Dirk in that slow, smooth Texan accent of his.

“Dirk... please, d- _ah!”_ He feels his cock stiffen slightly as Dirk adds another finger, pumping them slowly in and out, and heat starts to cramp in his belly. He suddenly needs more, more, _more –_ “Dirk!” he gasps, hips canting up to meet Dirk’s fingers. He makes a little noise that’s somewhere between a whine and a moan. “D-Dirk... oh...”

“You like that?” murmurs Dirk, scissoring his fingers inside him.

“Hhh...” Jake bites his bottom lip, and stares up at Dirk’s face. Gadzooks, but he’s fucking gorgeous – tanned, freckled skin, soft thick hair, cheekbones that could cut glass – and Jake’s starting to think he might not be completely straight after all. He hates himself for liking this – Dirk was _molesting_ him, for God’s sake – but those fingers feel so fucking good inside him, and Dirk’s plump rosy lips are parted slightly in desire, and – “Please,” moans Jake. “Fuck, Dirk...” His cock is almost completely hard now, flush against his stomach, and Dirk’s hand wraps around it again, stroking him slowly. “A-ah! Dirk, please – fuck me, fuck me –“

“I managed to mind break you even before I got my cock in you?” says Dirk teasingly. “What a wanton fucking _whore_ you are, English.”

“Sh-shut up – just shut up and _fuck me –“_ Jake lets out a gasp as Dirk pushes into him, his entrance stretching painfully around him. “Ah – no, it hurts, it’s too big, it _hurts –_ take it out, _take it out_ –“

“You asked for this,” hisses Dirk. “Don’t back out now. It’s not very gentlemanly now, is it?”

“D-Dirk,” sobs Jake, “please – _hurts –“_

“Quiet, baby,” murmurs Dirk, slowly thrusting in and out of him, and Jake whines, hands scrabbling at his back. “It won’t hurt for long...” Jake whimpers, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, and Dirk brushes the wetness away from his cheeks with the back of his hand.

“Poor baby,” says Dirk. “Just relax.”

Jake can only stare at him helplessly as he pumps his hips slowly. “H-hhn – Dirk –“ His body is beginning to get used to Dirk’s unfamiliar girth, and he lets out a high-pitched whine. “F- _fuck –“_ His hands fist inside Dirk’s hair, pulling his head down and kissing him desperately. He’s never felt anything like this before – jerking off was nothing compared to this, and he’d always thought he was too straight to finger himself.

Dirk gives a little noise of surprise into Jake’s mouth, and immediately starts moving his lips against Jake’s, his tongue flicking inside him. Jake’s hips thrust upwards, meeting Dirk’s strokes. “Dirk – _Dirk –“_

“Like saying my name, huh?” whispers Dirk against his lips.

“Yeah,” gasps Jake. “It’s – I like it – don’t know – just like it –“ He can barely form a coherent sentence, _fuck._ “Di- _irk –_ “

Dirk leans down, sucking his neck, and Jake groans. “Mmh - ”

Jake’s delicious noises, and the way his hands claw at Dirk’s back, are too much for him. He bites down on Jake’s neck hard as he comes, and then pulls slowly out, lips trailing down Jake’s chest and stomach and sealing over his cock. Jake makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, and he shoves Dirk’s head down harder, holding him still as he fucks his mouth like the fleshlight he’d alchemitised once.

“Fucking – _bastard,”_ grunts Jake. “How – _dare_ – you –“

Dirk gags around him, and Jake wishes he could see the look in his eyes. He grabs his shades, throwing them off, and sees that his eyes are red-rimmed and watery. Jake comes with a loud moan, hand holding Dirk’s head steady. When he finally lets him go, Dirk pulls off with a loud gasp, tears running down his face, a mixture of drool and cum dripping down his chin.

“I think I – think I deserved that,” says Dirk hoarsely, wiping the mess away from his face. He picks up his shades, sliding them back on. “You liked it, though.”

“Yeah, but even if I didn’t, you still would have done it, wouldn’t you?”

Dirk smiles wordlessly, and presses a kiss to Jake’s temple.


End file.
